I’m guessing that a lot of parents, whether they are new parents, or those entrenched deep in the throes of parenting may be lulled into thinking: “I hope someday my family works like a team, we’ll act as a team, and we’ll think like a team!” I know I thought this myself at some point “B-K” (before kids): I didn’t know when or how this magic was going to take place, I just sort of figured since these little people were my own flesh and blood, some genetic power or subterranean mental wiring would kick in and make it all happen……effortlessly, would also be nice. Nothing could be further from the truth! Families don’t automatically work or function as a team, but the good news I’m here to pass along to you is: Your family can function as a team, it is possible, and here’s 3 tips I learned from our family travels, and why I think family travel is a great way to help you make it happen.
Our sailboat “Mehari” at a town dock in Marmaris, Turkey
I also don’t necessarily agree with the stereotypes of bratty teenagers, out of control toddlers, or parents who can’t relate to their kids. Am I saying it’s easy? No, I think it is possible, not easy or automatic, but possible and I happen to think the best way to get to that point is family travel.
Why family travel? Isn’t there an easier way? I’m not saying family travel is the only way to make this teamwork to develop, but in my experience and opinion, family travel does naturally lend itself to teamwork. It is a fantastic way for them to experience the world on their own terms, and see things, people, and cultures first hand.
“Family Travel Expands Your Borders”
Your family can function as a single unit, helping each other, and looking out for each other. I’m not talking about a Brady-Bunch-leave-it-to-beaver kind of cheesy way, I don’t know too many families that do work that way (thankfully!) I’m also not talking about making my kids clones or parrots of me, where my children have to see the world as I do, think about things like I do, and believe or have the same opinions as I do, as though they are programmed to say my family mantra or creed……weird! Who says I have all the answers?! I know myself well enough to know that’s not right, I mean who sincerely wants that?! My kids are each destined to be unique individuals, with their own set of opinions and beliefs, I feel like it’s my job to help them form those opinions in the best way I can, but in the end, all I have is to work from is my own experiences and opinions.
What I’m talking about is a deeper understanding of each other, giving your kids the space to let them be themselves, and loving them through their differences, in spite of them. I think that is what most parents dream of when they have kids in the first place.
This is how they find their own voice, their own set of values, and how you all grow together. I can’t tell you how many of my own ideas have changed through world travel: thoughts I had regarding politics, religion, history, ethnic classes, everything. Processing what we saw out loud led to many, many hours of conversation with my kids on the things we saw and how it affected what we believe. I can’t think of a better way to grow closer.
“Your People are Your Home”
The idea of home, the idea that home is about the people and not the place, is something that really came alive for me during our travels. We were living on a sailboat in the Mediterranean, and anchorage after anchorage or town after town, we didn’t know a soul. The only people around who even spoke English was my family. The 6 other people on my boat.
Hiking a hill in ‘The Gambia’ West Africa
In that way, our boat and the people in it was our home, but it always felt great to come in from a strange town and re-group as a family in these strange places. One of the greatest things about family travel, weather it’s short term, or long term. Weather it’s domestic or international, whether it’s with one kid or 6, it is pretty much guaranteed to build your family into a team.
“Traveling Promotes Teamwork”
“The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”
What a perfect way to describe family travel! It doesn’t seem to matter about how well you plan your itinerary, call ahead and make sure the car rental company has the minivan, or make sure the tour or attraction is open, even though it’s a holiday, things just sometimes go wrong. It seems like you can prepare for everything but the unexpected. It’s not a reflection on you! It doesn’t make you a failure, it gives you an opportunity to communicate with your family about how disappointments suck.
How sometimes life throws you a curve-ball you didn’t see coming. I know I pride myself in appearing as though I always have it together and I want to appear that way to my family, but in reality, no one always has it all together and part of your job as a parent is to give your kids the tools to help them deal with disappointments. Life has a way of consistently surprising us with curve balls that challenge us to adapt. These are tools your kids need as they head out to tackle their own lives. NO ONE has it all together, and your kids won’t either. Why not equip them to handle disappointments on a smaller scale (car rentals) so they have some tools to handle the bigger ones.
In conclusion, those are a few of the lessons I learned through family travel, and what it has meant to our family. It certainly was not easy a lot of times, but usually nothing worth having is easy.
I would love to hear from you! What are some lessons you have learned from family vacation or family travel?
